A few weeks ago the thing I was most scared of happened. I woke up to go to school and I was just too unhappy to get out of bed. I tried to move, but I simply couldn’t. So I didn’t go to school that day. I knew why I felt this unhappy. I think, at that point, I’d known for a while. I just couldn’t admit it to myself. Until that morning when I couldn’t get out of bed.
Social media has always been a huge part of my life. Especially Twitter. It’s been my outlet for everything. All my emotions, happy and sad, I shared with my friends. My friends who live on the other side of this earth. This resulted in me neglecting my ‘actual’ friends + family. I never really thought about it until recently. Whenever I’m with the people I love, I don’t pay attention to them. Instead I pay attention to my phone. Whenever I’m outside and the sunset looks like the prettiest thing my eyes, again, are focussed on my phone. I stopped appreciating the wonders of this earth (because let me tell you; not only nature, but also the people in my life are absolute wonders). So, I deleted all my social media off my phone, finally got myself out of bed, took a shower and went for a walk. It took me only 2,5 weeks to realize those 5 years of feeling so pressured to be online all the time, weren’t necessary at all.
In these past 2,5 weeks I’ve learned to appreciate my time with the people I’m with. My friends and family are such incredible blessings in my life and they don’t deserve being with someone who’s only interested in her phone. And I don’t want them to think I’m only interested in my phone, because that’s far from the truth. I rediscovered my love for reading. I fall asleep with a book in my hand instead of a phone at night. I even started appreciating the rain. I’ve rekindled my dying love for life and I’m feeling so much happier. There’s still so much I need to work on, but the fact that I can put my phone away for hours, if not a whole day, now without wanting to strangle someone gets me so motivated to do better. To do better in loving and appreciating the life I’ve been given. Not the life on my phone, but my actual life. The life I now prefer to live.
This is a personal thing. To others, being on their phone all the time doesn’t make them unhappy and that’s okay. Social media and it’s influence has a different impact on everyone. The same goes for everything else in life. All I’m trying to say to everyone reading this is if you’re feeling unhappy and you know the reason why: FIX IT! Don’t sit and wait around for a miracle to happen. Happiness is a personal struggle and you have to do it yourself. Feeling happy is so important.
You got this.
All my love, Anouk