Complicated me

I’m never satisfied, but at the same time the littlest things can make me happy. I can go weeks without crying and then spend five days breaking down over everything and anything. I love food, but I hate it for not keeping my tummy flat. I can’t go a day without listening to music even when I’m skipping through all the songs. I’m picky, but I want everything. I’ve never fallen in love, but I can like you in a heartbeat. I love snow as long as I don’t have to go outside. I eat cheese, but only on pizza please (If you got that reference you’re my new best friend). I have a big pile of unused notebooks and I still buy more. I bought a polaroid camera, but find it a waste to use my film rolls. I keep purchasing books, but don’t allow myself to make time to read.

I’m consumed with a thousand passions, but fear holds me back constantly. I claim to be confident and then compare myself to all the slim-legged, brown eyed, tanned girls on Instagram. I want to get a degree, but lack the motivation to make that happen. I buy 40$ hoodies and only wear them to bed. I love taking baths, but always run the water too hot. I want to move to the city and adopt an alpaca and 10 goats at the same time. I should go outside, but enjoy the comfort of my bed more. I have the most amazing friends, but don’t make enough effort to see them. I want to travel more even though I’m an overthinker, scared to get lost. I claim to have no talents until Big Sean’s part in As Long As You Love Me comes on. I’m constantly trying to live in the present, but my mind is stuck in the past.

I’m gonna try to live the happiest, most fullfilled life I can, but it might take some time.

All my love,

Anouk

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